Criticism and the pastorate go hand in hand—it’s simply a fact of life. Spend any amount of time in the pastorate and people will express criticism about your ministry. The plain and simple fact is you can’t please everyone all the time. The problem, however, is that far too many in the pastorate have very thin skin. It bothers them that there are people in the congregation that don’t like them, their preaching, or their personality. Hence, whenever they hear criticism of any sort they are quick to respond with a defense.
On one occasion of which I am personally aware, a colleague was going through a season of criticism. The pastor was very frustrated and annoyed, and so he sought counsel from one of his colleagues. His colleague advised him to have his wife write a letter to the congregation defending his ministry. The wife was all too happy to oblige, wrote the letter, and the pastor then distributed it to the congregation. As you can imagine, the letter was not well received.
Hiding behind your wife is bad for a number of reasons. First, the church as a workplace is unique in the sense that few have the families in regular attendance at their workplace. Few, if any, accountants, for example, take their wife and children to work with them and have them peer over their shoulders to check their math. Nevertheless, if you were having trouble at work with your boss or co-workers, would you have your wife write a letter to them explaining your actions? I doubt it very much.
Second, part of being a pastor is being willing to take it on the chin. You have to get used to people criticizing you—this is just the cost of doing business. If you worry about criticism, then you should stay away from the pastorate. Rather than worrying about criticism, you should instead ask whether you believe you are making good decisions. Have you prayed about it? Have you sought counsel from your elders? Have you consulted with trusted members of your church? If this is the case, then make your decision and let the chips fall where they may. If you constantly try to adjust and accommodate every criticism you will end up being pushed to and fro unable to stand on any decision.
Third, in the end, it’s not simply about taking it on the chin. A certain part of me wants to tell my fellow pastors, “Man up—don’t be so weak in the knees when it comes to criticism.” But this isn’t just about being a man but ultimately about the way of the cross. When you stand on truth and preach the gospel and receive criticism, then you’re following in the footsteps of Christ—you are being persecuted (admittedly a mild form of it) for the sake of his name. If you always want to avoid the criticism and vindicate your reputation at every turn from the slightest ill-spoken word, then chances are that you’re trying to avoid the way of the cross.
Remember, Christ, Paul, and the other apostles were all subjected to withering criticism. If you’re a pastor and find yourself under the fire of criticism, then you’re in good company. Don’t look for a way out—after prayerful consideration of whether the criticism is valid—press on and follow in the footsteps of Christ. Press forward in the way of the cross.