In today’s social media-drenched culture people make all sorts of claims and criticisms about others. Watch celebrities and influencers to see a very microcosm of this phenomenon. The regular news cycle draws attention to celebrities who engage in on-line battles. One makes a comment and then someone responds in kind. There are few who let comments go without responding. This type of conduct isn’t restricted to social media but likely goes back to our earliest days as children. How many of us received schoolyard taunts and responded in kind? If someone called you a nerd, you might fire back, “Takes one to know one!” I think a common mentality is to hit back when stricken, or even hit others preemptively. But is such conduct Christ like?
This is an important question because as a minister, I promise and guarantee that you will be the subject of ridicule, criticism, slander, libel, and the like—and this conduct, sadly, can often come from other ministers. Though a fair share of this unfair criticism can also come from other portions of the church. Try as you might to do things for the right reasons, there will be those who accuse you of subterfuge and ill motives. And when you read the criticism, your first reaction might be to respond in kind. Or perhaps you might want to offer a respectful self-defense. To be clear, there may be times when you should defend yourself. But more often than not, you need to give serious thought to taking it on the chin, or turning the other cheek.
Give prayerful thought to Christ’s call to bear your cross. Think about Christ’s silence before his accusers. Think about the slander that Paul suffered. Think of Paul’s instructions to the Corinthians to be willing to suffer wrongs (1 Cor. 6:7). To stand, take criticism, and yet remain silent is not a sign of weakness but rather spiritual maturity.
All too often, I believe, we are too thin-skinned. We don’t want to tolerate the slightest hint that someone might not think as well of us as we do of ourselves. Other times I think people are all too interested in immediate vindication. We want everyone to know we are right and that others have wronged us. I have had a number of counseling situations where people wrangled over petty matters and refused to be reconciled to others in the church all because they wanted everyone to know they were right.
Don’t get me wrong—I don’t like being insulted or criticized. Who really does? But on the other hand, don’t be too quick to defend yourself. Listen to the criticism. Is there any validity to it? If not, ignore it and move on. You can’t please everyone all the time. But more importantly, remember that everything in your life has a purpose. In this case, the wrongs that you suffer are not simply blows you bear, but instances where the Father is conforming you to the image of his Son.